Tag Archives: Weekly Roundup

Your Football Weekend Roundup

Welcome to the 76th edition of Tuesdays With Mitch, where FOOTBALL. Let’s get into it…

Description of . Julius Thomas (80) of the Denver Broncos runs in the second touchdown of the game during the second quarter.  The Denver Broncos played the Indianapolis Colts at Sports Authority Field at Mile High in Denver, Colo. on September 7, 2014. (Photo by Seth McConnell/The Denver Post)

It’s hard to envision a game in which Julius Thomas doesn’t dominate. (Seth McConnell/The Denver Post)

The first weekend of the year to offer a full slate of both college football and the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE! did not disappoint. Let’s start with some fairly quick thoughts on the local squads:

The Denver Broncos are 1-0, which is the best record they can have at this point in the season, so that’s good. Naturally, many Broncos fans and media-types are concerned because the Broncos were not dominant enough in the second half of their opener vs. the Colts on Sunday night. Complaining after beating good teams will always seem strange to me.

Is the second-half near comeback by the Colts reason for concern? Yeah, probably a little. Obviously we all would have liked to see both the offense and defense play a more complete game. Last year throughout the season I was Mr. Everything-Is-Fine when discussing the Broncos. Then they played in the Super Bowl. So yes, this year we would all like to see a little (or a lot) more “nasty” from this team.

And there sure wasn’t much of that in the second half on Sunday night.

But at this point, I’m still not one to worry. Just like last year, the Broncos are playing a 16 week preseason. On Sunday night they probably didn’t play well enough to win in January or February, but those important games are a very long way away. Lots of things can change over the course of the next four months. Right now, piling up the ‘dubyas is all that matters.

So I’m not going to fret this one. Even with that lackluster finish, it’s clear who the best team in the AFC is.

Description of . Boise State running back Jay Ajayi (27) tumbles into the end zone over Colorado State linebacker Max Morgan during the first half of an NCAA college football game in Boise, Idaho, on Saturday, Sept. 6, 2014. (AP Photo/Otto Kitsinger)

Jay Ajayi had no problem against the CSU defense. Weeeeeee! (Otto Kitsinger, AP)

Coming in to this game, I said we didn’t really know how good CSU was, because we have no idea whether or not CU is terrible (more on that later). Now we know with certainty that the Rams are not on the level of the elite team in the Mountain West. At least not yet. Overall, though, I’m still not sure what we have with this team.

The killer running game from week one was completely nonexistent (28 yards on 23 attempts) and the defense could not do anything to stop Jay Ajayi and Grant Hendrick. Boise racked up 675 yards of total offense, which is an absolutely absurd number.

So yeah, this one didn’t go particularly well. The Rams did get their crap together eventually and made it an interesting game in the fourth quarter, but the outcome was never really in doubt.

I’m going to go ahead and make some excuses now. This was ridiculously difficult scheduling. Traveling to Boise immediately following an emotional win over your rival is just a tough draw. Hell, starting conference play on the road against the best team in the conference in the season’s second week is a tough draw in itself. Also, two of the Rams best offensive players and preseason all-conference selections didn’t suit up in Ty Sambrailo and Kivon Cartwright.

So I do think that this game would have been more competitive if it was played in the heart of the conference schedule. All that said, there’s no doubt that Boise is the better team. And that shouldn’t be all that shocking when you think about it.

So moving forward, CSU has a cupcake, an off week and then an interesting game on the road at Boston College, who was just beaten by Pittsburgh at home.

A couple weeks ago I spoke of that elusive “Next Step” for the CSU program. While winning the Mountain Division of the MWC just took a serious hit, that “Next Step” is still within reach if they can avoid bad losses and win at Boston College and/or beat Utah State at home.

And after the first two weeks I have no idea whether or not that’s realistic.

While we’re on the topic, here’s the third installment of CSU football’s YouTube series, “The Grind.” There’s some really cool Rocky Mountain Showdown footage in here. Of course, this was more exciting before that game on Saturday night. Still a great production though.

The Colorado Buffaloes were thiiiiiiisss close to losing to Massachusetts. UMass is in the MAC and has won one game each of the past two years, their only two seasons as an FBS program. Holy crap, guys! CU might be really, really bad. Like, 2012-CU-Buffs-bad. That’s hilarious, but as previously mentioned, might not bode well for your Colorado State Rams.

And I was going to say a few words about Ray Rice but screw it. Too much to the story and it’s evolving too fast for any of my scorching hot takes. I will say; however, that I do find it incredibly odd that the new video changed everything so quickly when everyone had already seen a video of him dragging around an unconscious body. We all needed the new video to piece this all together? Really? What am I missing? Weird.

Anyway, Goddell might be screwed. This ends today’s analysis on the situation.

Moving on…

There was so much happening on the internet the past week, that I’m not going to break all of these into the weekly departments, but here are a bunch of pictures, videos, tweets, GIFs, and Vines that I enjoyed:

We obviously have to start with the greatest play in the history of football.

That’s Antonio Brown just jump-kicking some poor, pathetic punter right in the face. It’s incredible.

Look at this shot!

AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar

Greatest play in the history of football.

I don’t know why, but eating out of a full-sized box of Frosted Flakes inside the stadium at a NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE! game had me laughing harder than anything else this weekend.

Nevada beat Washington State on Friday night. The Wolfpack has a guy who looks like this, so that’s pretty neat.

I’d like to think that if I were a Division One football player I would do everything I can to look ridiculous on a daily basis like Mr. Hekking. Maybe dye my hair black and my beard blonde or something, I don’t know, that mullet is pretty hard to top.

A whole bunch of people in my Twitter feed really hate Chris Collinsworth. This slip-up was his finest gem from Thursday.

You see, he said “the ’85 Bears in ’86”. It’s funny because it’s impossible.

Tony Dungy deleted this tweet for some reason. But an astute observer grabbed a screenshot:

I wonder what it would be like to poop out a bird. Probably not that awesome, huh?

Nebraska was almost on the wrong side of an all-time upset at home to some team named McNese State. But then Amir Abdulla, who is awesome, did this.

I was unable to find the original picture or posting anywhere, but here’s a tweet/screenshot/thing of a really great photo from the Virginia Tech – Ohio State game (which Virginia Tech, who wears orange, won).

The Patriots lost and Tom Brady was sad.

This isn’t from a football game but it’s great. Whatever’s comfortable, bro.

Please note the multiple Dos XX cans on the bleachers and the half-eaten hot dog in the right hand. What an awesome human being.

This is not a from a football game either, but I found it interesting and I really enjoyed the video below. Tony Reali is leaving Pardon The Interruption after 13 years. He’ll still host Around The Horn and is going to do something for Good Morning America, which is apparently still a thing that some people watch. I don’t watch PTI or Around the Horn anymore, but I used to. And I know a large group of people around my age who are reading this watched those two shows, back to back, just about every day in high school and college. I’ve always thought Reali is pretty awesome.

A couple links worth sharing and other items of note (lots this week!):

  • USA Today caught up with Jim McElwain for a fairly lengthy interview.
  • Terry Frei did some great work at the Denver Post in providing some insight into Dee Hart’s background.
  • Kenneth Faried has been killing it for team USA in the FIBA World Cup. What does that mean for the Nuggets?
  • Northern Colorado almost beat an FCS team on the road. They lost to UNLV by one point after a missed chip-shot field goal with under six minutes to go. This never would have happened if that Bigelow kid was still there. Also, this means UNLV is really, really crappy.
  • The Cincinnati Bengals signed a player to their practice squad solely because his daughter has cancer and he needs the health benefits and salary. This is an awesome story amid so much NFL awfulness.
  • The New York Times obituary of Joan Rivers is interesting as hell.
  • The horribleness of Derek Jeter’s farewell tour continues. The Yankees will be wearing Jeter patches on their sleeves and hats for the remainder of the season. That’s like a whole month of wearing a patch for a guy who is not dead or retired, but still on the team. I get how much everybody likes Jeter, but come on. It’s getting embarrassing.

And finally, this video is not suitable for your workplace due to a good amount of what I think is profane screaming, but I found it too funny and strange not to share. (Hat tip to E.V. for sending this one over.)

When she hip-checks him and he flails on his back like an overturned turtle for a few seconds… That’s just gold. 2 millon view is one day! I used to put random, non-sports videos like this in almost every post. Whatever happened to that?

Happy Tuesday everybody. Thanks for reading. See y’all next week.

***

Comment on any of this stuff below, or email me at mdhahn1@yahoo.com with post ideas, videos or other media I should know about. Subscribe at the top right of this page. Follow me on Twitter @TuesWithMitch.

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Your Weekly Roundup From The Sports World And Internet

Welcome to the 69th edition of Tuesdays With Mitch, where I’m realizing that my summer weekends are becoming quite the hinderance to this blog. I didn’t have the time or energy to produce much writing this week. And I will be going camping/drinking/boating/drinking/sleeping/drinking all of this weekend, so the abbreviated posts may continue for a little bit. That’s how things are supposed to be in the summer in Colorado, right? Also, ’round these parts there’s really not much to write about these days anyway. But the streak is still alive and well at 69 consecutive Tuesdays. Let’s get into it…

Projected Denver Broncos Final 53-Man Roster, Pre-Training Camp Edition

Training camp starts this week and I really don’t care. (Ed Andrieski/Associated Press)

Before jumping in to the weekly departments I have a few words on NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE! training camps opening up this week.

How in the world do you people get excited about this?

I am simply not ready to talk about the Broncos. It’s like 100 degrees outside every day. We are in the absolute middle of summer. How does that get you pumped for football? The thought of leaves crunching under my feet in a crisp breeze is not even on my radar and won’t be for a couple months.

Training camp is like one tenth as interesting as the preseason. And the preseason is like one tenth as interesting as, you know, the actual season that kicks off six and a half weeks from now.

I have a long commute to and from work each day and generally enjoy listening to a variety of sports talk radio shows to help pass the time. During the times of my day that I’m not driving to work I enjoy taking the pulse of the sports world by reading various blogs and keeping up with the Sports Twittersphere. Locally, as of yesterday, people were tired of bitching about Dick Monfort and the discussion changed exclusively (and I mean EXCLUSIVELY) to the Broncos. I can’t consume that content for six and half weeks before a single game. Can’t do it!

I understand that the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE! is king of the universe, so I’m neither surprised, nor unaccustomed to this training camp ritual. When September rolls around in six weeks, I’ll be ready to roll. But it’s very strange (and quite unsettling) to hear people debating the merits of Nate Irving or Adam Gase on July 22nd. Who cares about that right now? Go on a damn hike or something, dude.

Anyway, I guess I’m the unreasonable sports fan when it comes to this. Whatever. Someone will have to text me what color shoelaces Peyton Manning is wearing on Thursday.

Off to the weekly departments…

Stud of the week:

Rory McIlroy won the Open Championship and revived all the “Replacing Tiger” talks after an impressive tourney across the pond. McIlroy is one green jacket away from the career grand slam at the age of 25. He (still) might be your guy. Anyway this is what he and his buddies did with the Claret Jug:

But the coolest story* from the sports weekend is probably that of McIlroy’s dad. From this article on ESPN.com:

Ladbrokes’ Rachel Bridge told ESPN.com that one bet — believed to be made by McIlroy’s father — was a 200-pound wager ($341) at 500/1 odds placed in 2004 for his son to win [the Open Championship] within 10 years. That bet will pay out $171,000.

Yes, Papa Mac bet on his son to when the British Open within ten years when Rory was 15. Then Rory won it the last year the bet was in effect. Here’s the tweet from the sportsbook:

*Just kidding. Nothing is cooler than drinking Jagermiester out of the Claret Jug.

Douche of the week:

Certain Rockies “fans” are rooting for the team to lose 100 games, with the hope that such a dismal season will produce change in the front office. These people need to have their fan cards revoked immediately. Tanking for a draft pick is one thing, hoping your team loses based on the off chance that Crazy Dick will mix things up is on a whole ‘nother level. Are you nutjobs high-fiving each other when Tulo pulls up running down the first base line and leaves the game? (Aaaand he just hit the DL by the way. Yaayyy!) Are you toasting each other when Justin Morneau lands on the DL? Are you kooks stoked when Wilin Rosario repeatedly can’t stop pitches in the dirt? These things are frustrating to watch. At least they’re supposed to be.

The Rockies are 4-24 in their last 28 games. So don’t get me wrong I’m definitely not living and dying with every pitch. Because 1) I’m not insane. 2) I can only inflict so much self-punishment. 3) I have something resembling “a life.”

The Rockies are probably going to finish with one of the worst records in baseball. Do we really need to root for that? Shouldn’t that kind of suck? Yeah, I think it sucks.

Tweet of the week:

The Onion at its absolute finest:

And while we’re at it, what the hell… Perhaps my favorite quote ever from perhaps my favorite Twitter account:

A couple links worth sharing (lots of stuff this week):

Some other stuff the internet had to offer from the past week:

One of my favorite things is laughing at stupid things that probably shouldn’t make me laugh. God bless whoever put this GIF together:

If you know anything about Fransisco Rodney or his postgame celebration, you should find this pretty funny. Rodney did his little Usain Bolt arrow shooting thing after the eighth inning. Then he blew the save in the ninth. Gotta wait until the end of the game to bust that one out, bro.

Some guy asked A.J. Hawk to tackle him at a golf tournament. He obliged.

…But I’m glad nobody tackled Agnes McKee.

And finally, please take seven minutes and watch this moving speech from Stuart Scott if you haven’t already seen it. You’ll be glad you did:

Happy Tuesday everybody. Thanks for reading. See ya next week.

***

Comment on any of this stuff below, or email me at mdhahn1@yahoo.com with post ideas, videos or other media I should know about. Subscribe at the top right of this page. Follow me on Twitter @TuesWithMitch.

Who Should The Nuggets Draft?

Welcome to the 66th edition of Tuesdays With Mitch, where I’m opting out of the final year of my blogging contract and becoming a free agent. Lots to get to this week. Let’s get into it…

Could Nik Stauskas be a Nugget? I’m hoping so. (Rick Osentoski/USA Today Sports)

I make fun of and generally dislike the NFL draft for a handful of legitimate reasons, but I’m always interested in the NBA draft. The differences between the two are simple. We aren’t bludgened with 12 months of coverage prior to the NBA draft. There are only two rounds of the NBA draft. The NBA draft isn’t in prime time during other sports’ playoffs. And because  basektball only requires five players in a starting lineup, we’re much more familiar with all of the players that’ll get drafted into the NBA. (Don’t act like you watched that linebacker from Buffalo for more than a couple minutes in his career, because you did not.)

Anyway the Nuggets have their first lottery pick since 2003 and they can’t really afford to miss. So who should the Thuggets* select Thursday night with the 11th overall pick?

*I know they’re no longer called the Thuggets, I just miss that awesome nickname.

The guy I have my sights set on is Michigan shophomore guard and Big Ten Player of the Year, Nik Stauskas. A healthy Nuggets team has a need for a shooting guard more than any other position and Stauskas would compliment the roster perfectly.

The Nuggets have needed a shooter for years. Danilo Galinari (even when healthy) never turned into much of a deep threat and nobody would be thrilled with another year of servicable veteran Randy Foye in that role. Having someone that can spread the floor would open things up for an aggressive Ty Lawson to drive to the cup, which is his best asset.

Stuaskas is considered the best shooter in this draft class. Dude is a sniper. He was a 44 percent three-point shooter in his two years at Michigan. But he’s also much more athletic than most college basketball fans realize and at 6-6 he’s bigger than a lot of your standard long range shooters. This is a guy that can put the ball on the floor and create offense. I think he profiles as way more than a Kyle Korver or J.J. Reddick.

So will he be available for the Nuggets with the 11th pick?

The mock drafts I’ve seen have Stauskas going 9th (Yahoo!), 10th (CBS) and to the Nuggets at 11 (SI). (Looking at more than three mock drafts is looking at too many mock drafts.)

So the answer to that question is, Maybe. Ideally if the Nuggets want Stauskas, they can sit back and wait for him to fall to them at 11. Or they might need to get creative and trade up a couple spots if they’re hearing New Orleans or Philadelphia is interested.

The other players that figure to be in the Nuggets range are, among others, Gary Harris Jr, a tough, defensive minded guard from Michigan State; Doug McDermott, an underrated player in college who might lack a lot defensively but should be able to score in the NBA; and Dario Saric, some foreign guy nobody knows anything about.

I would also be in favor of the Nuggets trading some of their current pieces and moving into the top five, but that seems unlikely.

Either way, the Nuggets are in a good position to improve (and move from the back of the middle of the pack to the middle of the middle of the pack. YAY!). A lot of different things could happen between now and the draft, but I’m hoping the Nuggets grab Nik Stauskas.

And a quick sidenote on Kevin Love… The Nuggets have been brought up in trade rumors for the stud big man who wants out of Minnesota and is entering the final year of his contract. I like that the Nuggets are active and creative with the situation because having Love next season would make the Nuggets a much better team, regardless of who they give up to get him (within reason). But I put the chances of Love re-signing with Nuggets after next season at about 1 percent.

So the situation would look like this: Give up a handful of talented young players and draft picks. Sign Kevin Love for one season. Lose Kevin Love and get nothing in return. Become one of the five worst teams in the NBA. Get a top-5 lottery pick. Draft a future superstar. Become good again.

Sounds okay to me.

(For the record I don’t think any of this is going to happen.)

Douche of the week:

I just… I don’t know. Here are your 2014 Colorado Rockies. Whatever.

Tweet of the week:

Just patting myself on the back a bit here. I tweeted this after the second inning of Clayton Kershaw’s no-hitter, which turned out to be one of the most dominant performances in the history of baseball. (It had a game score of 102, the 2nd highest ever.)

It was really amazing and incredible and great and stuff, but the national media folks have all neglected to mention that the vaunted Rockies’ offense (Ha!) featured a lineup that was without Carlos Gonzales, Michael Cuddyer, Nolan Arenado, Justin Morneau and Charlie Blackmon. The latter two were the manager’s decision, but those are five of the best six or seven hitters on the roster.

*Also: How can anyone call themselves a Rockies fan and be rooting for Kershaw to complete the No-No? That’s, like, the dumbest thing ever.

Stud of the week:

The Milwaukee Brewers swept the Rockies this weekend, which wasn’t very nice. But they also created a spoof “attack ad” urging people to vote for their catcher Jonathan Lucroy over the Cardinals’ Yadier Molina to start in the All Star Game.

It’s pretty darn good. I can’t embed MLB.com videos on this site (and for some reason they’re not allowing it on YouTube) so you have to click here to watch. Anyway, anything that trolls the insufferable Cardinals masses is awesome by me. Props to the Brewers media people behind this one.

And it would be super awesome if this catapulted Lucroy up the All Star voting standings and he actually got the start over Molina, which he actually deserves this year anyway. They earned my vote!

Picture(s) of the Week:

Michelle Wie won the US Open and I’m only mentioning that because I think it’s a significant moment for the LPGA.

(AP Photo/Chuck Burton)

I promise.

According to Wie, ‘It takes 21 1/2 beers to fill up the U.S. Open trophy”.

I wholeheartedly support everything about that picture and that quote.

Vine of the week:

This happened today. It’s a soccer player running up behind another soccer player and biting the shit out of his shoulder and then flailing around like the other player’s shoulder just slammed into his innocent teeth. I can’t believe y’all watch this stuff.

What a joke.

A couple links worth sharing:

And some other stuff the internet had to offer from the past week:

Johnny Cueto is having a really good year. But he’s a pitcher, so he should probably just accept it when he strikes out.

Greg Popovich having fun and being a little cocky? Greg Popovich having fun and being a little cocky.

And finally, here’s what appears to be a really fun motorcycle crash!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

Happy Tuesday everybody. Thanks for reading. See ya next week.

***

Comment on any of this stuff below, or email me at mdhahn1@yahoo.com with post ideas, videos or other media I should know about. Subscribe at the top right of this page. Follow me on Twitter @MitchDHahn.

Recapping A Wild Week In Sports

Welcome to the 65th edition of Tuesdays With Mitch, where the sports world is providing a wealth of material, meaning I didn’t have to write too much this week. But I still have a big post for you. Let’s get into it…

I’ll start with a few words on the Rockies, who lost 15 of 18 games before winning five in a row, including an incredibly unlikely sweep of the Giants in San Francisco via three consecutive late inning comebacks. (They lost to the Dodgers last night.) So here are those aforementioned words on the Rockies:

I have no idea what to think about the Rockies.

But hey, this was an exciting moment:

On to the weekly departments…

Stud of the week:

In a week with a ton of options for this category (Kawhi Leonard, Tim Duncan, Greg Popovich, Alec Martinez, Yoenis Cespedes, Martin Kaymer, That Soccer Guy and the late Tony Gwynn) some random dude in San Fransisco gets the honors. We’ll get to those other studs in a bit.

Giants fans are generally huge douche bags, but this guy made perhaps the most impressive home run catch ever yesterday. Coming out of the tunnel, in stride, bare hand, and he played it cool like it was no big deal. But the coolest part? He did all that while holding a small child in his non-catching hand ON FATHER’S DAY.

Jeff Chiu/Associated Press

Here’s the GIF:

That doesn’t even look real.

Picture(s) of the Week

AP Photo/David J. Phillip

Great shot of Tim Duncan as his mind-bogglingly incredible career keeps rolling along. And here’s one of Duncan and his son on Father’s Day, from the postgame presser:

Vine of the week:

Yoenis Cespedes made the best throw of the year against the Angels this week. MLB made a pretty sweet Vine of the occasion.

Just look at that throw. That’s absolutely one of the best plays of the year in 2014. Look how casual the catcher is! Then he did it again the next night.

MLB

That led to this awesome tweet from the official Angels account.

See, guys? Baseball is fun!

Tweet of the week:

Rick Reilly’s retirement rolled right into making Hitler/Nazi/Holocaust jokes. So that’s always a smart move.

Douche of the week:

Remember when O.J. Simpson killed those people? That was pretty douchey, huh? That chase took place 20 years ago today.

I don’t like to put nine minute videos in here, but I couldn’t stop watching that. What a fascinatingly strange moment in American history. And I’m proud to say I DO NOT REMEMBER where I was when this went down. Maybe all those old people who tell me I’m not that old are right!

A couple links worth sharing:

I’m sure you’ve heard the very, very sad news of Tony Gwynn’s passing. A lot of digital ink was rightfully devoted to Gwynn yesterday. It’s impossible to read all the different pieces but here a few that are worth your time:

Jeff Passan took a look at the two new videos that MLB released of their new advanced media tracking system. They are amazing. Yasiel Puig can run 21 mph on grass while tracking a baseball with a glove on his hand. Andrew McCutchen takes a nearly perfect route (99.7 percent efficient) to a line drive in the gap. These guys are absolute freaks. Anyway, this stuff is awesome and is about to further change the way we consume baseball. Highly recommended read here.

I’m always quite interested in the 50 athletes who made the most money last year.

And a bunch of other fun stuff from the week:

Hockey is over:

Great call (or lack thereof) from the great Doc Emerick as well.

Zach Johnson made a hole-in-one during an otherwise boring-as-hell US Open. Then he did this, which is pretty cool. I guess.

Remember the Jim Harbaugh Wal Mart pants story from a few months back? Dockers has some smart marketing people and Harbaugh has a funny wife:

I feel like we haven’t had anyone falling on their face in a while ’round these parts, which is a shame.

The GIF is even better.

Let’s double up on the “people falling down” category!

That stuff will never get old.

This young man was a bit startled

I wish Jimmy Kimmel would do one of these every week:

Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques Wamutombo!

And finally, here’s a ball bouncing off of a guy’s head into a large net.

Apparently a lot of American folks cared about that ball going in that net. I have to admit, this video is pretty awesome.

Happy Tuesday everybody. Thanks for reading. See ya next week.

***

Comment on any of this stuff below, or email me at mdhahn1@yahoo.com with post ideas, videos or other media I should know about. Subscribe at the top right of this page. Follow me on Twitter @MitchDHahn.

 

Your Weekly Roundup From The Sports World And Internet

Welcome to the 64th edition of Tuesdays With Mitch, where I’ve just been moved to the 15-day DL; no longer day-to-day. Lots of good stuff out there this week. Let’s get into it…

Eddie Butler’s Major League debut wasn’t very cool. Then he got hurt, because all Rockies are supposed to get hurt. (Isaiah J. Downing-USA TODAY Sports)

Well the Rockies suck again.

So that sucks.

Last week I mentioned that I wasn’t sure what to expect from the Rockies as they embarked upon an all-important 10-game homestand. I could see 9-1, I said. I could also see 3-7 as some kind of worst case scenario, I said. One week later, it looks like my worst case scenario was too generous. They’re currently 1-6 on the stand and have lost 10 of their last 11 games and 14 of 17 overall. They have fallen 5 games under .500 and are 12.5 games out of first place. Seriously! I didn’t make any of those numbers up!

Outside of the health and continued stellar play from Troy Tulowitzki, pretty much everything has gone wrong for the Colorado Rockies. It has been dreadful to watch.

The decline to irrelevance was shocking for a number of reasons. Most notably, to me at least, was the immediacy of the nosedive. Literally two and a half weeks ago, on May 22nd, fans and analysts alike were considering this team a legitimate National League West contender. Two and a half weeks is a blink of an eye over the course of a six-month MLB season. How quickly and emphatically the season ended is just difficult for me to even comprehend.

The entirety of the collapse was also unbelievable. The starting pitching collapsed. (The good pitchers were bad, the bad pitchers were bad, the new pitchers were bad.) The bullpen collapsed. (Literally everyone was bad.) The starting lineup collapsed. (Except that shortstop guy.)

The past couple seasons have come with hot starts that had a bit of a flukey aura to them. For whatever reason, I thought the 2014 team had a different feel. They had a different makeup. They seemed to have a different mindset. They were talented. They were surviving a bunch of unfortunate injuries.

At some point the injuries became too much to handle, specifically when Nolan Arenado went down. That dramatically changed the entire makeup of the Rockies, both offensively and defensively. And the horrible news just keeps coming. Yesterday three more injury related headlines were announced. Eddie Butler would hit the DL after just one start. Michael Cuddyer would hit the DL (again) and it sounds like he’ll be out for a long while. And Carlos Gonzalez would need surgery on that damn finger. So let’s take a look at the status of eight very important Rockies:

  • Tyler Chatwood 60-Day DL
  • Brett Anderson 60-Day DL
  • Jordan Lyles 15-Day DL
  • Eddie Butler 15-Day DL
  • Boone Logan15-Day DL
  • Nolan Arenado 15-Day DL
  • Michael Cuddyer 15-Day DL
  • Carlos Gonzalez 15-Day DL

I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s hard to win without any players.

It may sound incredibly lame and homer-ish but I don’t care, the Rockies have been incredibly unlucky this year. This entire season has been dripping with bad luck since Spring Training. Baseball is the best, but it sure can be a bitch sometimes.

The Rockies have now entered the territory where fat pitchers who can’t hit, like Hyun Jin Ryu, are unleashing Puig-like bat flips. This GIF is a nice summary of the current state of the Rockies.

It’s going to be a long summer.

On a non-depressing Rockies note, check out the heartwarming reaction of Rockies’ draft pick Kyle Freeland upon hearing he was selected 8th overall by his hometown team.

Off to the weekly departments…

Stud of the week:

WEEEEEEEE!!

Lebron James cramp

via @cjzero

LeBron James gets it this week for two reasons. Game One, when he got a cramp and set the internet ablaze with hilarious irrationality. Game Two, when everyone was like Damn. This guy is really good at playing basketball. Right now, we’re watching one of the best players ever playing at his highest level in the Finals against a really good team. I’m no LeBron honk, but as sports fans we’re all obligated to appreciate that.

Douche of the week:

Manny Machado is a heck of a baseball player. Unfortunately he also appears to be a douche. After a kerfuffle about being tagged out (huh?) on Friday, Oakland threw inside (intentionally) to Machado on Sunday. On the next pitch, Machado responded by pretending to swing while throwing his bat at the pitcher and missing horribly. I have definitely never seen that one. Props for creativity I guess, but the execution left a lot to be desired. He claimed the bat slipped out of his hands on a normal swing. How dumb does he think we are?

Either way, you can’t go around throwing baseball bats at people, dude. He was suspended five games this afternoon for his douchey actions.

Tweet of the week:

Somebody found the quintessential this-is-why-you-don’t-read-comments comment. This tweet made the rounds pretty quickly.

Don’t read the comments, folks. Just don’t read the comments. Except that sometimes you find an entertaining gem like this one, in which case it’s all worth it.

Vine(s) of the week:

The Chris-Bosh-looks/acts-like-a-dinosaur jokes will never get old.

 

Neither will laughing at Bartolo Colon’s swing, this time combined with 50 Cent’s famous first pitch.

 

Picture(s) of the Week

I really like this shot of Danny Green after one of his big threes in Game One of the Finals.

The Rockies might suck, but this is still a great picture of a jacked-up Tulo:

John Lebya, Denver Post

A couple links worth sharing

I didn’t share any links last week so this first one is actually more than a week old. But this feature on the freakishly nerdy Canadian hillbilly that blackmailed celebrities online and led to the wrongful Internet Crimes Against Children case against Chris “Birdman” Andersen is mind blowing. The way it has appeared to change Andersen is a very saddening undertone to the whole thing. So, yeah. Read this.

Baseball legend Don Zimmer died Wednesday night. As always, the New York Times obituary is a must read.

I also enjoyed this piece on Zimmer from Tom Verducci. Check out this paragraph!

Zimmer met Babe Ruth (in 1947), was a teammate of Jackie Robinson (1954-56) and played for Casey Stengel (1962). He was in uniform for some of the most iconic teams in history: the team that lost the most games (’62 Mets) and the team, including postseason play, that won the most games (’98 Yankees). He was in uniform for the only World Series championship for the Brooklyn Dodgers (1955), one of the most famous World Series home runs (Carlton Fisk‘s shot in 1975), one of the most famous regular season home runs (Bucky Dent in 1978), the Pine Tar Game (1983), the first night game at Wrigley Field (1988), the first game in Rockies history (1993), and all three perfect games thrown at Yankee Stadium (Don LarsenDavid Wells and David Cone).

While we’re on the topic, here’s Vin Scully chiming in on Zim in his patented charming, wonderful Vin Scully way.

 

This E:60 report from Jeremy Schaap on Dominic Moore is powerful and worth your time.

And Rick Reilly published his last column at ESPN this afternoon. Reilly is an all-timer who happened to be turning in garbage recently, but he sticks the landing on this one.

And some other stuff…

You should all know how I feel about the “Bad British Commentary” series. They posted a new one for us! Yay!

Here’s Novak Djokovic vomiting in slow motion. You’re welcome.

 

And finally, are you guys all pumped for the World Cup?! …Because I don’t care about it at all. That said, check out John Oliver’s must-watch, incredibly well-done take down of FIFA from his new HBO show. 13 minutes well spent.

(I linked to that E:60 report on Qatar a couple weeks ago; it’s right here if you missed it.)

Happy Tuesday everybody. Thanks for reading. Go buy your dad a tie. See ya next week.

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Comment on any of this stuff below, or email me at mdhahn1@yahoo.com with post ideas, videos or other media I should know about. Subscribe at the top right of this page. Follow me on Twitter @MitchDHahn.

Your Weeekly Roundup From The Sports World And Internet

Welcome to the 62nd edition of Tuesdays With Mitch, where I have a shortened post due to the holiday weekend. I was too busy eating burgers and steaks and drinking (lots and lots of) beer the past few days to be a productive blogger. Oh well. Let’s get into it…

We’re jumping straight into weekly departments.

Douche of the week:

Giant’s color commentator Mark Krukow accusing Troy Tulowitzki of cheating is as douchey as it gets. This story is now a week old, but it’s still annoying. Of course, it was longtime Giants’ broadcaster Jon Miller who accused the Rockies of cheating by switching out humidor balls with non-humidor balls a couple of summers back. And now we have another instance of someone on the Giants’ payroll publicly ringing a bell that can’t be unrung. Calling into question the integrity and reputation of an orginization and player should not be taken lightly. These guys seem to do it whenever the Rockies win a few games over the Giants.

What bugs me the most about all this is the way the Giants, their (mostly new) fans and broadcasters all act like they are suddenly God’s gift to the game of baseball because they won two World Series. They’re now as bad as Cardinals fans (and broadcasters) in thinking they are baseball royalty.

Obviously the easiest retort to these bizarre accusations is to bring up the size of Barry Bonds’ head. Miller and Krukow didn’t have much to say about that when Bonds was cheating his way to record-breaking seasons.

Everyone associated with the Giants is pretty much a douche bag.

Stud of the week:

Never let a foul ball interrupt a midgame snack. This super chill bro is how we should all aspire to catch a foul ball, complete with the Oh hey I got you this to the ladyfriend.

Tweet of the week: Dick Vitale’s Twitter account remains awesome because of stuff like this.

He’s the best, BABY.

Vine of the week:

You might need to watch this a few times before realizing what you’re looking at, and I’m not talking about Ian Desmond or his bat.

Gross, dude. That head-snap is no joke.

This is another pretty cool way to catch a foul ball. Not as cool as our snack-eating stud, but still worth a spot this week.

The end of this Lance Stephenson flop is just hilarious.

Check out this classic 5-6 putout:

And finally, we can all use more angry Charles Barkley in our lives.

Happy Tuesday everybody. Thanks for reading. I should have more for you next week. See ya then.

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Comment on any of this stuff below, or email me at mdhahn1@yahoo.com with post ideas, videos or other media I should know about. Subscribe at the top right of this page. Follow me on Twitter @MitchDHahn.

Your Weekly Roundup From the Sports World and Internet

Welcome to the 48th edition of Tuesdays With Mitch, where we’re starting to get a little anxious for some baseball, like this guy taking in some Spring Training workouts.

Dude just trying to watch some Spring Training baseball. Can ya blame him? Charles Wenzelberg/New York Post

This weekend took a lot out of me so we’re going to jump right in to the weekly departments…

Stud of the week:

TJ Oshie had himself a good week.

via @peteblackburn

He scored four times in a shootout to finish an incredible hockey game that I happened to sleep through. He beat the Russians on their home ice and that’s pretty badass. He captivated America on a slow Saturday morning. He turned the hockey hype for the Olympics up several notches. He deflected praise and said “The American heroes are wearing camo. That’s not me.” All pretty studly. Of course, because this is 2014, his girlfriend instantly became internet famous and that’s the real reason he’s occupying this space this week.

(He also gets points for bottle service, but loses them for drinking Grey Goose. On second thought that might have been her idea and I would also order whatever that woman wanted.)

Douche of the week:

So TJ Oshie seems to be pretty awesome and had a good week . Let us talk about a person who is not awesome and did not have a very good week. When the initial news about Richie Incognito and Jonathan Martin broke a few months ago, most people thought Incognito sounded like a meathead and a jerk. I sure did.

Then the sentiment went the other way a little bit. Martin is soft and weird. Incognito is just a football player. Football players are, by rule, a little bit meatheady and jerky, so it’s not his fault.

But ohhh man. Turns out Incognito is like the worst guy ever. The meathead of all meatheads. The jerk of all jerks. An independent investigation produced 148 scathing pages regarding Incognito’s treatment of Martin and others. The whole report is pretty hard to read, but the stuff Incognito said to Martin about Martin’s sister is just disturbing. (The following is some very adult content, but I think it’s important for people to know what the hell Martin was dealing with, and remember this is like 1 percent of what was in that report.)

The evidence supports a finding that Incognito, Jerry and Pouncey repeatedly and persistently made graphic, sexually explicit comments about Martin’s sister, a medical student whom they had never met. Four fairly typical examples of the types of insults made orally, according to Martin, are:

“We are going to run train on your sister. She loves me. I’m going to f— her without a condom and cum in her c—.”

“Hey, Jmart’s sister is in town. Get the plastic sheets ready, she’s a squirter.”

“I’m going to bang the s— out of her and spit on her and treat her like s—.”

“Hear your sister has a wolf-puss. A fat, hairy pussy.”

Although Martin’s core complaints primarily relate to oral statements, crude references to his sister also appeared in a handful of text messages, including one that Incognito sent to Martin and other offensive linemen:

“I flew jmarts sister into Indy. My dick is dry and needs some of her healing squirt juices”

Yikes, huh? This guy is a real Mensa. That said, one of Incognito’s biggest problems was not being able to identify the kind of person that Martin is.  I’m sure some other meathead dudes hear that kind of crap and giggle and throw similar language right back at Big Rich. For Martin, all that kind of thing did was depress him destroy his life. Incognito is definitely a meathead and a jerk, but he also definitely lacks people skills. Those are important, too.

A couple good reads on the topic here. One from Dan Le Batard and a personal column from Mark Schlereth.

Richie Incognito: All-time douche.

Tweet(s) of the week:

Staying on that topic for another moment, this is what Big Rich tweeted two days before the investigation was released.

Incognito

That didn’t work out too well.

And here’s one Incognito sent the day the investigation was released because it just absolutely cracks me up for some reason. Big Rich Would Like You To Have A Happy Valentines Day : )

Incog2

While we’re at it, let us take a moment to admire his Twitter avatar/profile picture thing, in which this mouth-breather appears to be quizickly chomping on an orange mouth guard.

@68Incognito

What to watch the next seven days:

  • I’d quickly like to toot my horn about nailing that Wyoming over San Diego State upset last week. Anyway…
  • The biggest college basketball game in the state this season is in Boulder on Saturday night when the Buffs host #4 Arizona. I think their tournament hopes rely on winning that game, even though Arizona hasn’t been as impressive after losing Brandon Ashley for the year. I also think Arizona State could win in Boulder tomorrow night, which would severely lessen the impact of Saturday’s game. Either way, it’s a big week for the Buffs, whose remaining schedule isn’t kind. They close with three straight road games and are 2-4 on the road in conference.
  • USA Hockey will play the Czech Republic at 10 am (Mountain) tomorrow morning in the quarterfinals. Televised on the USA Network. The winner advances to the semis.
  • The weather postponed the first Duke vs. North Carolina game a couple weeks ago. They are going to try again on Thursday on ESPN.
  • Neither Colorado State nor Wyoming will be going dancing, but they play Saturday afternoon in Fort Collins. The Border War is usually worth watching.
  • The Heat and Thunder play on Thursday night. Each team has a good player.
  • The only thing worth watching with the Nuggets these days is what the hell is going on with Andre Miller. I used to love Dre and thought he carried himself very professionally. But damn, he must really not like Brian Shaw. Hopefully they can trade him for a player who actually, like, plays.

Here are some other cool things…

Curling: Still weird as hell.

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This game-winner from Tyler Ennis (remember that name) to keep Syracuse undefeated on Wednesday night was pretty absurd. College basketball is neat.

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This butt-check from Slovakian goalie Jan Laco is pretty awesome.

https://i1.wp.com/d3j5vwomefv46c.cloudfront.net/photos/large/839385081.gif

via @myregularface

Thanks, internet.

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95-foot putt for a new car.

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Here’s a fairly long and quite interesting read on CSU transfer Chane Behanan for the Rams basketball fans. I hope this kid can stay out of trouble in Fort Collins.

And finally, the East Coast got a lot of snow or something. This dude had some fun with it.

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Happy Tuesday everybody. Thanks for reading. See ya next week.

Comment on any of this stuff below, or email me at mdhahn1@yahoo.com with post ideas, videos or other media I should know about. Subscribe at the top right of this page. Follow me on Twitter @MitchDHahn.