Welcome to the 19th Tuesdays With Mitch, where it’s supposed to be a slow time of the year for sports but there is sure a lot going on. Optional background music for this blog in honor of Von “rolling” or “tripping” or whatever on something called “Molly”, which I was surprised to learn is not spelled “Mali”, can be found here. Let’s go!
So Von Miller got busted for smoking grass and reportedly taking Molly. (I say taking because I don’t know how one consumes Molly. Do you just eat it?) Anyway if you play in the NFL you’re not allowed to do those things, and I think Von Miller probably knew that. He did it anyway, and that was really, really stupid.
By all accounts Von Miller is a really good dude. He’s always said and done the classy thing. His Twitter account (more on that in a moment) is generally not filled with the illiterate jibberish you see from so many young athletes. Doing these drugs doesn’t make him a bad dude. It does make him irresponsible and reckless and immature and stupid. It was harmful to his reputation and his teammates and his fans and the organization as a whole.
From a football standpoint, this is bad, but not horrible. Miller is probably the best defensive player in the league and not having him for a quarter of the season means the Broncos may lose a game or two they would have won had Miller played. But really, the Broncos should still win the AFC West and if they do, the regular season doesn’t matter a whole lot.
The Broncos are a Super Bowl favorite and their real season starts in the playoffs. Having homefield advantage and the bye week didn’t matter last year for the Broncos or the team that won the Super Bowl.
Miller is denying everything, which isn’t the best way to go.
I have a lot of thoughts about that tweet/statement. First, why did his handlers let him write this himself. If you’re using Twitter as the avenue to… you know, DENY ILLEGAL DRUG USAGE, maybe put some professionalism behind it. Generally in these situations people will break a statement up into one or two tweets that actually spell out the words “about” and “suspension” and “will” and “disappointed” and “to” so it doesn’t read like a text message from a 17 year old girl. (I’m glad he used an apostrophe in “I’m” and ended with a period though.) I’m all about Twitter and insist on people embracing it, but in this situation it would have been better to just issue a statement like this was 2010.
Now regarding what was actually said in that tweet… Deny til you die! Really? Who told him this was a good route? I guess he had to do it since the case is in the appeals process, but this is always, always, always a bad look. We would all be much more forgiving if you said something along the lines of, “I made a mistake. I apologize to all of my fans and the Broncos organization. I understand the severity of my actions and am very saddened by what I have done. I hope to put this behind me and rejoin the Broncos as soon as possible and go win a Super Bowl this season.”
How hard was that? That literally took me about 90 seconds, which is sadly probably nine times longer that it took Miller to send that tweet.
Anyway, I don’t like the denial route because now Miller is not just an irresponsible and reckless and immature and stupid drug user. He’s also a liar.
Own it. Apologize. Put it behind you. America will forgive you. Your fans will forgive you. Don’t lie to everybody, bro. That doesn’t help things.
The Broncos are having a nightmare of an offseason and now the whole organization looks like a bunch of drugged out alcoholics. For John Elway, football games can’t come fast enough.
Speaking of liars and denials and getting suspended. Let’s talk about Lyin’ Ryan Roidin’ Braun. From February 2012:
He is spitting fire there. He is not passive or regretful or remorseful. He just comes out guns blazing.
There’s also these yet-to-be-deleted gems. The account isn’t officially verified but it appears to actually be Ryan Braun. (It may have never gotten verified because he has only sent out 5 tweets.) Anyway:
Ummm…. What a piece of garbage.
This is a complex story but to me the most fascinating aspect is the way Braun carried himself during his last run in with getting caught cheating. He won an appeals process on a technicality and then got a little too full of vinegar. He attacked people’s character and played the, “I told you! You should all feel terrible for doubting me! How could you?!” card. He was lying and roiding the entire time.
I said doing drugs doesn’t make Von Miller a bad person. All of this stuff definitely makes Ryan Braun a bad person.
From a baseball standpoint, this is encouraging. The cheaters may always be one step ahead of the enforcers, but the culture in the MLB regarding steroids is changing. Players are no longer looking the other way regarding this stuff. They want the cheaters to get caught and are speaking out against PEDs, which is a very good thing.
More suspensions from the Biogenesis case are coming and Alex Rodriguez is about to get hammered. So that’ll be fun for everybody.
Adrian Beltre and Elvis Andrus make up the left side of the infield for the Texas Rangers. They have a very interesting rapport, summed up perfectly in this video:
This is one of the stranger GIFs you will ever see:
What in the hell is happening at that baseball game? What in the hell.
This kid reminds me of a young me.
But seriously I was pretty slick with the glove between ages 4 and 12. Not sure what happened after that.
This will be me.
When I was four years old I could recite Dikembe Mutombo’s full name. (Still can, Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques Wamutombo and yes I had to look up the spelling). Apparently the guy just really resonates with young children:
This would suck:
It also gives me an excuse to link to this HOF GIF from April.
The dude pitching against the Rockies tonight has one hell of a story that you should read.
And finally, what would you do if your dog Toaster was being attacked by a raccoon? For your dog Toaster’s sake, I hope you would do this:
That has 5.4 million views in three days and I understand why. I think about 100 of them are from me. No hesitation, shirtless, two hands, over the head, sending that maniacal rodent with ill intentions head over heels about ten yards and down a stairwell with his evil glowing eyes looking back at you with each rotation. Maybe the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.
Now all I can think about is it what it would be like to throw a live raccoon as far as I can. Would I take a running start? Would I shuffle step and go across my body like I’m dumping a heavy bucket of water on an unsuspecting friend? Perhaps I would try a one-armed fling to the side or back. Maybe I could perfect one of those soccer inbounds plays when they do a little flip. Should I spin around like an Olympian in the shot put? I bet I could throw an adult male raccoon over them mountains if I really wanted to.
Happy Tuesday everybody. See ya next week.
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