Monthly Archives: June 2014

Who Should The Nuggets Draft?

Welcome to the 66th edition of Tuesdays With Mitch, where I’m opting out of the final year of my blogging contract and becoming a free agent. Lots to get to this week. Let’s get into it…

Could Nik Stauskas be a Nugget? I’m hoping so. (Rick Osentoski/USA Today Sports)

I make fun of and generally dislike the NFL draft for a handful of legitimate reasons, but I’m always interested in the NBA draft. The differences between the two are simple. We aren’t bludgened with 12 months of coverage prior to the NBA draft. There are only two rounds of the NBA draft. The NBA draft isn’t in prime time during other sports’ playoffs. And because  basektball only requires five players in a starting lineup, we’re much more familiar with all of the players that’ll get drafted into the NBA. (Don’t act like you watched that linebacker from Buffalo for more than a couple minutes in his career, because you did not.)

Anyway the Nuggets have their first lottery pick since 2003 and they can’t really afford to miss. So who should the Thuggets* select Thursday night with the 11th overall pick?

*I know they’re no longer called the Thuggets, I just miss that awesome nickname.

The guy I have my sights set on is Michigan shophomore guard and Big Ten Player of the Year, Nik Stauskas. A healthy Nuggets team has a need for a shooting guard more than any other position and Stauskas would compliment the roster perfectly.

The Nuggets have needed a shooter for years. Danilo Galinari (even when healthy) never turned into much of a deep threat and nobody would be thrilled with another year of servicable veteran Randy Foye in that role. Having someone that can spread the floor would open things up for an aggressive Ty Lawson to drive to the cup, which is his best asset.

Stuaskas is considered the best shooter in this draft class. Dude is a sniper. He was a 44 percent three-point shooter in his two years at Michigan. But he’s also much more athletic than most college basketball fans realize and at 6-6 he’s bigger than a lot of your standard long range shooters. This is a guy that can put the ball on the floor and create offense. I think he profiles as way more than a Kyle Korver or J.J. Reddick.

So will he be available for the Nuggets with the 11th pick?

The mock drafts I’ve seen have Stauskas going 9th (Yahoo!), 10th (CBS) and to the Nuggets at 11 (SI). (Looking at more than three mock drafts is looking at too many mock drafts.)

So the answer to that question is, Maybe. Ideally if the Nuggets want Stauskas, they can sit back and wait for him to fall to them at 11. Or they might need to get creative and trade up a couple spots if they’re hearing New Orleans or Philadelphia is interested.

The other players that figure to be in the Nuggets range are, among others, Gary Harris Jr, a tough, defensive minded guard from Michigan State; Doug McDermott, an underrated player in college who might lack a lot defensively but should be able to score in the NBA; and Dario Saric, some foreign guy nobody knows anything about.

I would also be in favor of the Nuggets trading some of their current pieces and moving into the top five, but that seems unlikely.

Either way, the Nuggets are in a good position to improve (and move from the back of the middle of the pack to the middle of the middle of the pack. YAY!). A lot of different things could happen between now and the draft, but I’m hoping the Nuggets grab Nik Stauskas.

And a quick sidenote on Kevin Love… The Nuggets have been brought up in trade rumors for the stud big man who wants out of Minnesota and is entering the final year of his contract. I like that the Nuggets are active and creative with the situation because having Love next season would make the Nuggets a much better team, regardless of who they give up to get him (within reason). But I put the chances of Love re-signing with Nuggets after next season at about 1 percent.

So the situation would look like this: Give up a handful of talented young players and draft picks. Sign Kevin Love for one season. Lose Kevin Love and get nothing in return. Become one of the five worst teams in the NBA. Get a top-5 lottery pick. Draft a future superstar. Become good again.

Sounds okay to me.

(For the record I don’t think any of this is going to happen.)

Douche of the week:

I just… I don’t know. Here are your 2014 Colorado Rockies. Whatever.

Tweet of the week:

Just patting myself on the back a bit here. I tweeted this after the second inning of Clayton Kershaw’s no-hitter, which turned out to be one of the most dominant performances in the history of baseball. (It had a game score of 102, the 2nd highest ever.)

It was really amazing and incredible and great and stuff, but the national media folks have all neglected to mention that the vaunted Rockies’ offense (Ha!) featured a lineup that was without Carlos Gonzales, Michael Cuddyer, Nolan Arenado, Justin Morneau and Charlie Blackmon. The latter two were the manager’s decision, but those are five of the best six or seven hitters on the roster.

*Also: How can anyone call themselves a Rockies fan and be rooting for Kershaw to complete the No-No? That’s, like, the dumbest thing ever.

Stud of the week:

The Milwaukee Brewers swept the Rockies this weekend, which wasn’t very nice. But they also created a spoof “attack ad” urging people to vote for their catcher Jonathan Lucroy over the Cardinals’ Yadier Molina to start in the All Star Game.

It’s pretty darn good. I can’t embed MLB.com videos on this site (and for some reason they’re not allowing it on YouTube) so you have to click here to watch. Anyway, anything that trolls the insufferable Cardinals masses is awesome by me. Props to the Brewers media people behind this one.

And it would be super awesome if this catapulted Lucroy up the All Star voting standings and he actually got the start over Molina, which he actually deserves this year anyway. They earned my vote!

Picture(s) of the Week:

Michelle Wie won the US Open and I’m only mentioning that because I think it’s a significant moment for the LPGA.

(AP Photo/Chuck Burton)

I promise.

According to Wie, ‘It takes 21 1/2 beers to fill up the U.S. Open trophy”.

I wholeheartedly support everything about that picture and that quote.

Vine of the week:

This happened today. It’s a soccer player running up behind another soccer player and biting the shit out of his shoulder and then flailing around like the other player’s shoulder just slammed into his innocent teeth. I can’t believe y’all watch this stuff.

What a joke.

A couple links worth sharing:

And some other stuff the internet had to offer from the past week:

Johnny Cueto is having a really good year. But he’s a pitcher, so he should probably just accept it when he strikes out.

Greg Popovich having fun and being a little cocky? Greg Popovich having fun and being a little cocky.

And finally, here’s what appears to be a really fun motorcycle crash!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

Happy Tuesday everybody. Thanks for reading. See ya next week.

***

Comment on any of this stuff below, or email me at mdhahn1@yahoo.com with post ideas, videos or other media I should know about. Subscribe at the top right of this page. Follow me on Twitter @MitchDHahn.

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Recapping A Wild Week In Sports

Welcome to the 65th edition of Tuesdays With Mitch, where the sports world is providing a wealth of material, meaning I didn’t have to write too much this week. But I still have a big post for you. Let’s get into it…

I’ll start with a few words on the Rockies, who lost 15 of 18 games before winning five in a row, including an incredibly unlikely sweep of the Giants in San Francisco via three consecutive late inning comebacks. (They lost to the Dodgers last night.) So here are those aforementioned words on the Rockies:

I have no idea what to think about the Rockies.

But hey, this was an exciting moment:

On to the weekly departments…

Stud of the week:

In a week with a ton of options for this category (Kawhi Leonard, Tim Duncan, Greg Popovich, Alec Martinez, Yoenis Cespedes, Martin Kaymer, That Soccer Guy and the late Tony Gwynn) some random dude in San Fransisco gets the honors. We’ll get to those other studs in a bit.

Giants fans are generally huge douche bags, but this guy made perhaps the most impressive home run catch ever yesterday. Coming out of the tunnel, in stride, bare hand, and he played it cool like it was no big deal. But the coolest part? He did all that while holding a small child in his non-catching hand ON FATHER’S DAY.

Jeff Chiu/Associated Press

Here’s the GIF:

That doesn’t even look real.

Picture(s) of the Week

AP Photo/David J. Phillip

Great shot of Tim Duncan as his mind-bogglingly incredible career keeps rolling along. And here’s one of Duncan and his son on Father’s Day, from the postgame presser:

Vine of the week:

Yoenis Cespedes made the best throw of the year against the Angels this week. MLB made a pretty sweet Vine of the occasion.

Just look at that throw. That’s absolutely one of the best plays of the year in 2014. Look how casual the catcher is! Then he did it again the next night.

MLB

That led to this awesome tweet from the official Angels account.

See, guys? Baseball is fun!

Tweet of the week:

Rick Reilly’s retirement rolled right into making Hitler/Nazi/Holocaust jokes. So that’s always a smart move.

Douche of the week:

Remember when O.J. Simpson killed those people? That was pretty douchey, huh? That chase took place 20 years ago today.

I don’t like to put nine minute videos in here, but I couldn’t stop watching that. What a fascinatingly strange moment in American history. And I’m proud to say I DO NOT REMEMBER where I was when this went down. Maybe all those old people who tell me I’m not that old are right!

A couple links worth sharing:

I’m sure you’ve heard the very, very sad news of Tony Gwynn’s passing. A lot of digital ink was rightfully devoted to Gwynn yesterday. It’s impossible to read all the different pieces but here a few that are worth your time:

Jeff Passan took a look at the two new videos that MLB released of their new advanced media tracking system. They are amazing. Yasiel Puig can run 21 mph on grass while tracking a baseball with a glove on his hand. Andrew McCutchen takes a nearly perfect route (99.7 percent efficient) to a line drive in the gap. These guys are absolute freaks. Anyway, this stuff is awesome and is about to further change the way we consume baseball. Highly recommended read here.

I’m always quite interested in the 50 athletes who made the most money last year.

And a bunch of other fun stuff from the week:

Hockey is over:

Great call (or lack thereof) from the great Doc Emerick as well.

Zach Johnson made a hole-in-one during an otherwise boring-as-hell US Open. Then he did this, which is pretty cool. I guess.

Remember the Jim Harbaugh Wal Mart pants story from a few months back? Dockers has some smart marketing people and Harbaugh has a funny wife:

I feel like we haven’t had anyone falling on their face in a while ’round these parts, which is a shame.

The GIF is even better.

Let’s double up on the “people falling down” category!

That stuff will never get old.

This young man was a bit startled

I wish Jimmy Kimmel would do one of these every week:

Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques Wamutombo!

And finally, here’s a ball bouncing off of a guy’s head into a large net.

Apparently a lot of American folks cared about that ball going in that net. I have to admit, this video is pretty awesome.

Happy Tuesday everybody. Thanks for reading. See ya next week.

***

Comment on any of this stuff below, or email me at mdhahn1@yahoo.com with post ideas, videos or other media I should know about. Subscribe at the top right of this page. Follow me on Twitter @MitchDHahn.

 

Your Weekly Roundup From The Sports World And Internet

Welcome to the 64th edition of Tuesdays With Mitch, where I’ve just been moved to the 15-day DL; no longer day-to-day. Lots of good stuff out there this week. Let’s get into it…

Eddie Butler’s Major League debut wasn’t very cool. Then he got hurt, because all Rockies are supposed to get hurt. (Isaiah J. Downing-USA TODAY Sports)

Well the Rockies suck again.

So that sucks.

Last week I mentioned that I wasn’t sure what to expect from the Rockies as they embarked upon an all-important 10-game homestand. I could see 9-1, I said. I could also see 3-7 as some kind of worst case scenario, I said. One week later, it looks like my worst case scenario was too generous. They’re currently 1-6 on the stand and have lost 10 of their last 11 games and 14 of 17 overall. They have fallen 5 games under .500 and are 12.5 games out of first place. Seriously! I didn’t make any of those numbers up!

Outside of the health and continued stellar play from Troy Tulowitzki, pretty much everything has gone wrong for the Colorado Rockies. It has been dreadful to watch.

The decline to irrelevance was shocking for a number of reasons. Most notably, to me at least, was the immediacy of the nosedive. Literally two and a half weeks ago, on May 22nd, fans and analysts alike were considering this team a legitimate National League West contender. Two and a half weeks is a blink of an eye over the course of a six-month MLB season. How quickly and emphatically the season ended is just difficult for me to even comprehend.

The entirety of the collapse was also unbelievable. The starting pitching collapsed. (The good pitchers were bad, the bad pitchers were bad, the new pitchers were bad.) The bullpen collapsed. (Literally everyone was bad.) The starting lineup collapsed. (Except that shortstop guy.)

The past couple seasons have come with hot starts that had a bit of a flukey aura to them. For whatever reason, I thought the 2014 team had a different feel. They had a different makeup. They seemed to have a different mindset. They were talented. They were surviving a bunch of unfortunate injuries.

At some point the injuries became too much to handle, specifically when Nolan Arenado went down. That dramatically changed the entire makeup of the Rockies, both offensively and defensively. And the horrible news just keeps coming. Yesterday three more injury related headlines were announced. Eddie Butler would hit the DL after just one start. Michael Cuddyer would hit the DL (again) and it sounds like he’ll be out for a long while. And Carlos Gonzalez would need surgery on that damn finger. So let’s take a look at the status of eight very important Rockies:

  • Tyler Chatwood 60-Day DL
  • Brett Anderson 60-Day DL
  • Jordan Lyles 15-Day DL
  • Eddie Butler 15-Day DL
  • Boone Logan15-Day DL
  • Nolan Arenado 15-Day DL
  • Michael Cuddyer 15-Day DL
  • Carlos Gonzalez 15-Day DL

I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s hard to win without any players.

It may sound incredibly lame and homer-ish but I don’t care, the Rockies have been incredibly unlucky this year. This entire season has been dripping with bad luck since Spring Training. Baseball is the best, but it sure can be a bitch sometimes.

The Rockies have now entered the territory where fat pitchers who can’t hit, like Hyun Jin Ryu, are unleashing Puig-like bat flips. This GIF is a nice summary of the current state of the Rockies.

It’s going to be a long summer.

On a non-depressing Rockies note, check out the heartwarming reaction of Rockies’ draft pick Kyle Freeland upon hearing he was selected 8th overall by his hometown team.

Off to the weekly departments…

Stud of the week:

WEEEEEEEE!!

Lebron James cramp

via @cjzero

LeBron James gets it this week for two reasons. Game One, when he got a cramp and set the internet ablaze with hilarious irrationality. Game Two, when everyone was like Damn. This guy is really good at playing basketball. Right now, we’re watching one of the best players ever playing at his highest level in the Finals against a really good team. I’m no LeBron honk, but as sports fans we’re all obligated to appreciate that.

Douche of the week:

Manny Machado is a heck of a baseball player. Unfortunately he also appears to be a douche. After a kerfuffle about being tagged out (huh?) on Friday, Oakland threw inside (intentionally) to Machado on Sunday. On the next pitch, Machado responded by pretending to swing while throwing his bat at the pitcher and missing horribly. I have definitely never seen that one. Props for creativity I guess, but the execution left a lot to be desired. He claimed the bat slipped out of his hands on a normal swing. How dumb does he think we are?

Either way, you can’t go around throwing baseball bats at people, dude. He was suspended five games this afternoon for his douchey actions.

Tweet of the week:

Somebody found the quintessential this-is-why-you-don’t-read-comments comment. This tweet made the rounds pretty quickly.

Don’t read the comments, folks. Just don’t read the comments. Except that sometimes you find an entertaining gem like this one, in which case it’s all worth it.

Vine(s) of the week:

The Chris-Bosh-looks/acts-like-a-dinosaur jokes will never get old.

 

Neither will laughing at Bartolo Colon’s swing, this time combined with 50 Cent’s famous first pitch.

 

Picture(s) of the Week

I really like this shot of Danny Green after one of his big threes in Game One of the Finals.

The Rockies might suck, but this is still a great picture of a jacked-up Tulo:

John Lebya, Denver Post

A couple links worth sharing

I didn’t share any links last week so this first one is actually more than a week old. But this feature on the freakishly nerdy Canadian hillbilly that blackmailed celebrities online and led to the wrongful Internet Crimes Against Children case against Chris “Birdman” Andersen is mind blowing. The way it has appeared to change Andersen is a very saddening undertone to the whole thing. So, yeah. Read this.

Baseball legend Don Zimmer died Wednesday night. As always, the New York Times obituary is a must read.

I also enjoyed this piece on Zimmer from Tom Verducci. Check out this paragraph!

Zimmer met Babe Ruth (in 1947), was a teammate of Jackie Robinson (1954-56) and played for Casey Stengel (1962). He was in uniform for some of the most iconic teams in history: the team that lost the most games (’62 Mets) and the team, including postseason play, that won the most games (’98 Yankees). He was in uniform for the only World Series championship for the Brooklyn Dodgers (1955), one of the most famous World Series home runs (Carlton Fisk‘s shot in 1975), one of the most famous regular season home runs (Bucky Dent in 1978), the Pine Tar Game (1983), the first night game at Wrigley Field (1988), the first game in Rockies history (1993), and all three perfect games thrown at Yankee Stadium (Don LarsenDavid Wells and David Cone).

While we’re on the topic, here’s Vin Scully chiming in on Zim in his patented charming, wonderful Vin Scully way.

 

This E:60 report from Jeremy Schaap on Dominic Moore is powerful and worth your time.

And Rick Reilly published his last column at ESPN this afternoon. Reilly is an all-timer who happened to be turning in garbage recently, but he sticks the landing on this one.

And some other stuff…

You should all know how I feel about the “Bad British Commentary” series. They posted a new one for us! Yay!

Here’s Novak Djokovic vomiting in slow motion. You’re welcome.

 

And finally, are you guys all pumped for the World Cup?! …Because I don’t care about it at all. That said, check out John Oliver’s must-watch, incredibly well-done take down of FIFA from his new HBO show. 13 minutes well spent.

(I linked to that E:60 report on Qatar a couple weeks ago; it’s right here if you missed it.)

Happy Tuesday everybody. Thanks for reading. Go buy your dad a tie. See ya next week.

***

Comment on any of this stuff below, or email me at mdhahn1@yahoo.com with post ideas, videos or other media I should know about. Subscribe at the top right of this page. Follow me on Twitter @MitchDHahn.

What’s Going On With The Rockies?

Welcome to the 63rd edition of Tuesdays With Mitch, where we’re talking some Rockies in a pretty big post. Let’s get into it…

Adam Ottavino, the Rockies’ best reliever, gave up a walk-off homer to a dude that doesn’t hit homers Sunday. It was a fittingly nonsensical and brutal end to an absolutely horrendous road trip. (Tony Dejak/AP)

A while back I mentioned how tough the month of May would be for the Rockies, highlighted by a perilous nine-game road trip through Atlanta, Cincinnati and Cleveland. Sure enough, things went quite poorly. How ’bout a quick recap?

It was a bad trip before it even started.

The Thursday before the Rockies headed east, they hosted the rival Giants for a crucial rubber match day game. The game was suspended in the sixth inning after heavy rain, lightning, thunder, tornadoes, floods, hurricanes, wild fires, El Ninos, cyclones and nor’easters moved into the Denver area. The stormy skies would prove ominous.

Suspending that game meant wasting a start from Jorge De La Rosa, arguably the National League’s best pitcher in the month of May and taking away a very winnable game and series against the Giants. It also took four and a half hours to wrap things up on a getaway day before traveling to the East Coast which, of course, cost the Rockies two more hours.

So yeah, it was literally a crappy road trip before it even started.

Then in the second inning of the first game– THE SECOND INNING OF THE FIRST GAME!– Nolan Arenado, a would-be all-star and one of the most important players on the roster, broke his finger diving into second base. It seemed like a huge loss at the time. It would seem larger and larger after each of the next eight games.

The Rockies would win one of three against the Bravos. Honestly, not all that bad considering the Rockies are 3-88 in Atlanta the past ten seasons.

The Philadelphia series sucked. Started with a blowout loss. Then a fairly comfortable win (in which the Phils’ Ben Revere hit his first Major League home run in his 1,566th plate appearance. I’m tellin’ ya, this road trip was weird.). Then the third game was a gruesome kick to the nuts. And shins. And face.

The Rockies played like crap but got a miraculous go-ahead, eighth-inning homer from DJ Lemahieu– his first of the year (weird!). With a one-run lead, the Rockies committed two egregious errors in the ninth inning (weird!). Closer LaTroy Hawkins was removed with two outs in favor of Boone Logan for the lefty-on-lefty matchup vs. Chase Utley (pretty weird). Game tying single. Walk-off three run homer.

Games like that are difficult to come back from. The Rockies didn’t.

They went into Cleveland and got swept, utilizing two more dramatic kicks to the nuts on Saturday and Sunday. On Sunday, Adam Ottavino served up a walk-off to Michael Bourn. Adam Ottavino has been the Rockies best reliever all year. Michael Bourn had hit one home run prior to that one. That was, like, the last thing I expected while watching that at bat. Anyway, it was a fitting end to the road trip because it made no sense and was just brutal for the Rockies and their fans.

Just about the only thing going well for the Rockies is the pitching of De La Rosa. The other four starters were pretty much awful for the entire trip. So were Cargo and Tulo and the rest of the lineup. (They went an astonishing 7-62 with runners in scoring position in the nine games. SEVEN FOR SIXTY-TWO!) The bullpen was also bad.

So now the Rockies come back home for ten games at The Keg and I have absolutely no idea what to expect from this homestand. I could easily see the Rockies going 9-1 and making everything feel swell again. Or I could see them going 3-7, calling it a year, proving the naysayers correct and allowing the Denver media to do what they love to do and focus on the Broncos’ OTAs all summer. Make no mistake, the next ten ballgames will go a long way in determining whether the Rockies hang around this season.

Eddie Butler struck out 25 batters in 27 2/3 Double-A innings.

The time to see Eddie Butler in a Rockies uniform is approaching quickly. (Rich Crimi/Tulsa Drillers)

The hottest topic surrounding the Rockies is what to do with the rotation. One way or another, Franklin Morales absolutely can not be allowed to make another start. Juan Nicasio is a very shaky fourth starter. Jhoulys Chacin, the Rockies best starter last year, looks like a shell of himself. There is help waiting in the minors, but whether or not the young guns are ready remains a foggy picture.

Jon Gray is the Rockies’ most prized prospect. It sounds like they’re not ready to call him up, which isn’t all that surprising. People seem to forget that a year ago he was pitching in the College World Series. That’s a long way from Coors Field.

Eddie Butler is the other young hype machine in Tulsa, but he’s had a bumpy road of late and it’s clear the Rox want to exercise caution in how they handle his ascent to The Bigs.

Tyler Matzek was making a push as the most likely call-up from Colorado Springs, but he threw a wrench in that plan by getting lit up Sunday.

Here’s what I’d like to see:  Immediately move Morales to a long-inning relief role and call up Matzek to take his place in the rotation. Matzek doesn’t have quite the potential of Butler and Gray so there is less long-term risk if he flames out. His last AAA outing was rough, but who cares? Let’s see if the guy can make a positive impact.

If the homestand starts out shaky and the third and fourth wheels look like they’re about to fall off (the first two are long gone) call up Butler and move Nicasio to the ‘pen in place of Morales or Nick Masset. At that point the season would be teetering towards irrelevance. At some point you have to say Screw It and throw your cards on the table. Butler could be your ace in the hole. You have to play that card while you’re still sitting at the table. Butler (and maybe also Gray in a couple months) could have the impact that Gerrit Cole had in leading Pittsburgh to the playoffs after he was called up in early June last year.

If Morales makes another start, you’re insulting every player on the team and sending a horrible message to your fans. So call up Matzek right away and be very, very ready to pull the trigger on Butler.

But the biggest problem the Rockies have might not have much to do with the Rockies. The Giants never lose. They just win… like, every game. They have baseball’s best record and are 17 games over .500. Their hot streak coupled with a Rockies’ 2-7 road trip means the Rockies are very suddenly 8 1/2 games out of first place. If that getaway day game doesn’t get suspended and the Rockies win, Colorado would have been two games back. That’s a very dramatic turn in less than two weeks.

Being 8 1/2 back on June 3rd is not a desirable position, but it’s not a death sentence either. I remain convinced the Giants will come crashing back to earth in a big way. (Statistically, they are incredibly lucky.) So all things considered I’m not ready to quit on this club. June is the time to make a move, with 16 of the next 27 games at home. Even after that stretch, the Rox will still have played 5 more road games than home games.

So the schedule has been pretty rough but if the Rox are as talented as I’m inclined to believe, things should improve now. Pretty much every team in baseball will go through a rough stretch involving a tough road trip. The response to that stretch is what’s important. The Rockies need to respond right now.

But really, let’s just be glad that damn road trip is over.

Off to the weekly departments…

Douche of the week:

Lance Stephenson tried really hard to get inside LeBron’s head in the Eastern Conference Finals. He made it into LeBron’s ear, but that’s about it.

via @cjzero

I’m not exactly a LeBron fan, but his reaction here is just perfect. Kills me every time.

And don’t worry! The ear-blowing was the most famous incident, but Game 6 provided us with two more great Stephenson GIFs.

Just slapping people in the face…

@_MarcusD_

Udonis Haslem wasn’t entertained and notified Stephenson, saying, “I’m going f*** you up. That’s Real.” (Sorry for the coarse language inside that tweet, I can’t change those letters to asterisks.)

Thanks for douchin’ it up, Lance.

Speaking of the NBA, a couple weeks ago I predicted the Spurs would beat the Heat for the title. I’ll stick with that. It’s hard to root for either team, but it should be an awfully entertaining series. The Spurs are a truly unbelievable organization. I have no idea how they keep doing this every year, and neither do you.

Stud of the week:

I don’t care what anybody says, that kid is a stud. He’s also now a rap star with his own version of the latest really popular and annoying song. I can’t decide if this video is horrible or awesome:

I guess I’ll go with awesome.

Which reminds me… I used to love the Spelling Bee. It generally came on unannounced sometime during my first week out of school, meaning daytime television was not yet depressing. Sleep in until about 10… Watch The Price Is Right… Flip to ESPN… Ohh look it’s that magical day when weird nerds take over the sports channel! I would sit on the couch on a beautiful summer day and watch those twitchy little homeschooled freaks for hours in awe of this certain population of the world I did not know existed. (Remember this seductress?) I still kind of don’t believe those kids are real people.

This was also pretty funny.

Tweet of the week:

Just in case you haven’t vomited yet today.

 

Vine(s) of the week:

This one’s pretty self-explanatory.

 

And here’s the fellas over at Purple Row using a Vine I made of a displeased Michael Cuddyer:

Apparently reading athletes’ lips as they cuss is an important theme this week.

And finally, I think somebody got into Daddy’s special water bottle.

Happy Tuesday everybody. Thanks for reading. See ya next week.

***

Comment on any of this stuff below, or email me at mdhahn1@yahoo.com with post ideas, videos or other media I should know about. Subscribe at the top right of this page. Follow me on Twitter @MitchDHahn.